Incoherent Thoughts

So I figured I’d start blogging about my crazy awesome life and hopefully this will stunt my dumb facebooking. At least this way people will who see my inane ramblings are those who actively look for it. And so, we let us begin with recent events. Now for your regular scheduled programming.

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A few night ago one of my buddies, Jason, met some insane lady while out at bar with some friends. She proceeded to tell them her life story. There was some pretty crazy stuff from what he told me. Fortunately I’ve been very bored at work lately, calm before the storm type of situation, so I took it upon myself to write out an epic rendition of her life story.

It was the day that everything changed. The Day that the entire country was turned upside down. A day of tragedy and my day of enlightment.

There I was, sitting in my physical therapy class when I heard the dreadful news. News that would forever change the way I looked at the world forever. 9/11 happened that day, on September 11th, I think that’s why they call it that.

It all dawned on me then. This world, was sick and twisted. Was I going to be a part of the problem or was I going to be the solution?

I walked out of class that day. I stopped going to University. I had no interest in joining the vile manipulative manipulators, those who manipulated those who are easily manipulated like I have been. I said no and so I wandered through the great State of Ohio so that I might find myself, find my new path in life.

I was so lost. What was I to do? That’s when I saw her. The most beautiful being in the world. That’s when I saw my dragonfly just buzzing in front of me, calling to me. She was the most beautiful thing in the world to me. The most beautiful thing I had ever seen. “Follow me” she said, “I will show you the path you must take”
10:25 AM
I was smitten. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe, I could only follow the dulcet tones of the dragonfly. I needed to know. I wanted to know.

I left. Didn’t even pack. On the spot, I chose to follow her to the great unknown. Into the wilderness we went, the dragonfly constantly shouting encouragements at me.
10:28 AM
However, something began to feel wrong. I could feel the taint at the edge of my raw vegan aura

It was them, the manipulators, and they were determined to stop me. To stop me from my goal

I fled. I ran and so the chase had begun. The dragonfly, Florinda Von Earthsong, did her best to guide me through every short cut and path she could but still they were catching up on me. Their dark manipulative taint was a suffocating miasma. I couldn’t keep up. I was short of breath and soon enough they would get to me. What could I do?

That’s when he came, that’s when he saved me. The most beautiful being I had ever seen. He wrapped his wings around me and I could feel his protection keeping me safe from the manipulators. “Angel,” he named me, “Don’t be afraid, you are clean and pure, I will protect you while I still draw breath”
10:36 AM
The oppressive chocking of the miasma left me suddenly and I was able to take a long deep breath. I was alive and I was free. The manipulators had been driven away.
The Angel who had so named me by his very name then took hold of hands and stared into my eyes.
10:37 AM
“I have chased them off for now, but I will not always be here to protect you. Let me teach you the way to make your detoxified body pure.”
And that’s how the Angel taught me how to make the pink drink and the green drink. Strange concoctions created by mixing mother earth’s most wondrous gifts to provide me with the fortitude and willpower to resist the temptations of the manipulators.

Apart they were symbols of my body’s purity, untouched by the toxins of meat and fire, but together, they were the most potent potion against those who were trying to harm my dragonfly.

They made me a weapon of love of truth and the shining light that illuminates against the conspiracies of the manipulators

My body surging with my new raw vegan strength, I chased away the manipulators and continued on my journey with the dragonfly as my guide. I traveled long and far, for many miles, and always the dragonfly led the way before me, taking me through the safest and quickest of paths.

Finally we reached her home, the Dragonfly Sanctuary located in the beautiful islands of Hawaii.
11:22 AM
There I spent 3 months as the dragonflies taught all they knew on how to defeat the manipulators and save my land, my country and all the cute little animals from their oppressive rule.

But even some good things must end, for at the end of my 3 months I was approached by Florinda Moonbeam Von Earthsong. “Angel, we have taught you all we know. You must set forth now on your quest”

I’ll never forget you!” I cried out, “I’ll always cherish my times with you!”

I soon left the Sanctuary but not before the evil manipulators sent their media crippled, cute cow killing drones to torch the entire sanctuary

As I stood by, flames illuminating the sunrise, I swore vengeance against the manipulators. I screamed out against the injustice and that’s when I knew what my quest really was.

I left that day, what was left os the coals smoldering into ashes and I made my way to California. There I would show them, I would show them all!

I arrived at california in no time. Still mourning the loss of my beloved dragonflies I embarked on my machinations for the demise of the manipulators.

So I became a waitress, at a raw vegan shop, “The Love Hut”

The mourning hasn’t ended, It will forever become a part of me, that’s why I now have this tattoo to remind me of Florinda Moonbeam Rivermoss Von Earthsong. That’s how I became… The Girl With the Dragonfly Tattoo.

Perhaps some explanation might help. Here is some of the crazy stuff I was told about this lady.

• Her name is Angel
• She dropped out of college after 9/11 because she “like, didn’t want to be a part of the manipulators.” There was some other conspiracy theory stuff thrown out there.
• One day “she saw the most beautiful dragonfly and I followed it to Hawaii where I spent 3 months in a Dragonfly reservation”
• She then worked at a raw vegan bar in california, she’s now in Dayton but I was never told the reason for that.
• While talking about how to throw a private bar party she mentioned that she’d have 2 drinks, a pink drink and a green drink and that they would be “just so amazing”
• Green drink is basically shots of wheat grass
• Pink drink is apparently sterilized water with gold flakes.
• Neither of these drinks contain any alcohol, but combined together they are supposedly “the most amazing feeling in the world but without alcohol.” It won’t work on most people because “they are full of toxins from eating red meat, but if you are on a raw vegan diet and are pure then it is just so amazing.

It ain’t my best work, but you can’t expect much from me at 10am while writing this out on gchat.

Come hither and listen to my tale of woe and horror. It happened yesterday evening, as I had arrived home with mine own groceries and had begun the preparation of mine own delicious dinner. It was pouring earlier so I wasn’t too happy being wet. Then something sinister happens:

A Wild Fly Appears!
Juan uses Smash.
A Wild Fly dies!
Juan gains eleventy thousand experience points! Yay!

This isn’t too uncommon, I’ve been seeing a few more mosquitoes and flies since they change my windows and I figured they got stuck in while it was wide open. But then something else happened… Something unexpected…

Another Wild Fly Appears!?
Juan uses WTF, they must be multiplying!
Fly escapes to my blinds!
Juan chases!
Juan opens blinds!
Juan uses W.
Juan uses T.
Juan uses F.

The sight before me is so horrific that I find myself stunned, shocked and paralyzed. Against my window, behind my blinds is an Infestation of Flies! How did this happen? After the initial pause, I grab one of my hand towels and go to town on the pests. I slap, smash and kill. Destruction rains from my window to my bed, I will have to clean those later. Some escape, but I continue on my quest to their destruction. I open the other blinds over my bookcase to find EVEN MORE FLIES! More swatting, more death leaves my windows covered in the blood and remains of my enemies. I AM DEATH; I AM VENGEANCE; I AM THE SLAYER OF FLIES!

My battle rage subsides allowing me the chance to take appreciate my surroundings. Lots of cleaning will be required. The remnants must be hunted and put down. We will be victorious. So I clean up most of the flies, and eat my food. A few stragglers make themselves known but they are dealt with and eliminated quickly.

I think I got them all. I wouldn’t be surprised if a few managed to escape. I will find them. I will end them. Mission Accepted. Bring it on Fly Boys!

We have a monthly newsletter where I work and I have a column where I basically rant and talk about geeky tech stuff. It’s a lot of fun to write but the article I wrote last night was deemed “too negative” to be included. I might have to rewrite it with a more positive spin but I figured I’d publish the original in here. Here goes. It has the tentantive and very crappy title of The Melancholy of the Tragedic death of the Zone, my beloved concentration trance.

Tikka, Tikka, Tikka, Tikka. I’m racing through the caffeine highway; every sense is alert. Tikka, Tikka, Tikka. Yet, I’m still blind to the outside world. My focus is held solely by my current work. Tikka, Tikka, Tikka. Yes. I’m definitely in the Zone. The highest order of enlightenment available to your everyday office drone. I am one with the computer. No problem can stand in my way. Every solution is within my grasp. Give me an hour of this and I’ll be done for the week. Tikka Tikka Tikka POP! Wait, what’s that? Is something going on around me? NO! 10:25 AM. Time of death. Rest in peace my beloved Bubble of Concentration.

Why are there loud noises!? Where did my silence go? My focus, my zone, my fleeting feeling of the primal understanding are all gone. Replaced by the noise of my surroundings. Why have you forsaken me O, great muses of the computer jockey? A plague upon your houses! Woe unto you and your kin!

“Calm down, me” I say to myself. It’s okay. This temporary setback can easily be remedied by clever use of THE INTERNET. More specifically, the music provided by such a magnificent network of Turing complete electronics. Let’s just get on Grooveshark or Pandora, put some songs on and we’ll be back in our happy place in just 15 minutes! Tikka, Tikka, Tikka. What? It’s blocked. Why? Who would do such a thing as to disallow my ability to drown out the cacophony surrounding me?

I look around trying to make sense of what is going on. Does anyone out there share in my plight? I look at nearby computer screens and what do I see? People using Facebook and Youtube. At this point my mind explodes in the blazing glory of insanity. Why is it logical to block a music website which helps workers concentrate on doing, oh I don’t know, work? Yet somehow it isn’t illogical to allow the internet’s two most monstrous, preposterous and downright vile time sinks to be accessible? Facebook, where productivity goes to die, has been allowed to flourish. Youtube, a potentially valuable resource, is being squandered in lieu of funny dog and cat videos. All hope is lost.

Nothing makes sense anymore. Am I even real? Can I dare to hope for some semblance of sanity? I resign myself to the inevitable; find a decently long and enjoyable song on Youtube and loop it. My shoulders slump as I accept reality. Back to working at a mere fraction of my potential pace. I let my soul be drained by the apathy until numbness overtakes me. My sense of purpose fades away. I have nothing else to say. The Corporate Overlords have won again.

I’ll admit it’s a bit of a downer but that’s what makes it sooooo good! AMIRITE?

This wasn’t my most productive day. Lets just say I was experiencing the blowback from the previous night. It wasn’t my greatest moment, but it was a moment nonetheless. Today was the day. Today became the day. I met (most of) the cast of the Guild. It was fantastic. Rose early and got up at the very front of the dealer room which opens up at around 10:00 (Signage was at 10:30). Doors open and so do the floodgates of us, the fanboys, the nerds, the early birds. Some run for the line; others are already there thanks to their press or VIP passes;I don’t care enough. I walk and eventually get there. The wait begins.

Thankfully, the last night’s revelry left with me with a little bit extra that morning so I was feeling extra awesome. This was likely very annoying to those around me; let them eat their cake and deal with it. Thankfully, awesome sights were present to beheld and keep me entertained. Magic was in the air as what I estimate was an eight year old boy using a foam sword against a guy I would describe to be in his mid twenties. This kid was rocking that sword like it was his job to beat the life out this dude. It was, quite plainly ro all, LEGENDARY.
Well, I finally made it to the autograph place. I wasn’t sure what I was getting autograph but I was sure I wanted my bag to be done by Miss Day. Even though it will likely fade in less than a month, I care not. I also took this chance to get the Guild DVD’s for Season 1 & 2 as well as Season 3. I got them signed while I was at it. I got these colored strips of tape to put on the stuff getting signed. Seemed odd but I’ll roll with it. At least I got to talk to them.

Jeff Lewis (Vork) was hilarious and kept talking about how much he loved True Dungeon. Sandeep Parikh (Zaboo) was equally hilarious and seemed like a really cool guy. Meeting him got me enthused enough to watch Legend of Neil. Hint: It’s pretty awesome. Also met Robin Thorsen (Clara) who was super nice. They were all nice but I actually got the awesome convo with her about being GenCon virgins. It was quite the rockhard awesome experience.

Finally, I got to Felicia Day. She was also nice, and before I had to take a pic of her with my friend. Let me tell you though, she seemed way too skinny. I really thought she looked a lot better in the Guild when she looked fuller, at least she was nice. I actually mentioned the tweet reply and how I got all embarrassingly nerdy excited about it. She laughed and asked me what it was about, to which I responded. Apparently, her hotel room suuuuucked and there was a loud buzzing near it. Sounds like a bad case of Double Dragon Daggers and Battletoads (The worst kind of dagger). Almost forgot to get my bag signed but alas, my awesome skills of looking at myself prevailed!

At this point, I forgot about Wil Wheaton and getting stuff from him so I left the line. My friend basically game me a “WTF” sort of expression and then it dawned on me. DOH. Oh well. I got him to get me Wil’s book with autograph so it wasn’t a total loss. Would have probably been better to meet him but I’m sure I’ll survive the pain of regret and take it like… well something, A ROCK! Yes, let’s say it’s a rock.

After this, I stopped by the Paizo booth for my second and last button since I left too early on Sunday to get a third one. While I was I decided I should complete the set and bought the critical hit deck. Now I just have to try and remember that I have these decks when we play. After this, it was nap time. Crash and Burn, or so the Hacker movie has led me to believe. Well, that didn’t quite happen though. After we got back, I played some more agricola with myself. By play, I of course mean get owned by my own noobness. Nonetheless, it was a learning experience. Then something magical happened, something I have deemed my “inception nap.”

The basic premise is that I had a lucid dream while being completely aware of my physical surroundings. I could hear when others shifted, walked, breathed, opened and closed doors. At the same time I was experiencing a very vivid dream, a dream that I could temporarily pause if I wanted to focus more on my surroundings and then return to at will. Sometimes, I could even rewind the dream if I wasn’t completely satisfied with an event. It was empowering, relaxing and it kept me from snoring the roommates out. It was, for lack of a better word, awesome.

We eventually set out to see The Guild Panel. It was a decent dose of fun. The first 10 minutes or so consisted of then talking about how awesome True Dungeon was. It was actually really interesting to see their take on it and their stories on how it went. Apparently, Felicia Day ended up being completely worthless throughout the entire ordeal. Much hilarity and mockery ensued. Good times.

I was toats lame for the rest of the night because I basically went to bed right after. I needed my rest for all of the stuff I wasn’t going to do the next day. Day 3 Ends. Day 4 Begins and isn’t all that exciting. We checkout, one of our friends is staying for a Magic Tourney, so he has us carry his bags and winnings with us. We drove home and the rest, well that’s just non-GenCon related.

End of GenCon!

I awake feeling great. GenCon is still going on. The happy little nerd child inside me screams out in joy. My adult self has other plans since, as mentioned before, my hotel is freaking awesome. I proceed to go down for food and coffee (the most important food group of all food groups). Caffeine Supply: Refilled. I bring my flask with me. This proves invaluable as I somehow became ludicrously thirsty as the day went by. Ready to roll out.

First thing is first, I am going to get today’s Paizo button. So we head out towards the dealer room where I quickly succumb to the shopping gods once again. I buy a Critical Fumble Deck from Paizo, get my button (yay!) We hang around the dealer room for a bit until we head off to get in line for Wil Wheaton’s event. Yay! The event is really entertaining. Wil basically reads from a tiny booklet he brought with him ( I got a copy, basically blog posts) with some tangential stuff added in. He was an interesting person to hear, especially about his experiences as a gamer and as a dad. Good stuff all around. It really made me want to go out and play most of the games he mentioned. Note to self: Actually do this next year.

Now, my memory is a little fuzzy but I’m pretty sure this is what happened next, or the day before, doesn’t matter this still happened. Looking through the guide for free/random stuff, I find that there will be a showing soon of a movie called Hobocon. This excites me greatly as the mere mention of Hobos normally does. So we head on over to the Film/Anime/talk portion of GenCon (I think it was at the Hyatt) and sit in on a current seminar while we wait for the movie to talk. This was fortuitous as I now have an epic idea for roleplaying hijinks. The talk was concerning the use of Evolution and Creationism in roleplaying games, namely D&D. If I remember correctly it was held by a group called Skeptic Gamers. The concept introduced: Nut sac races. Yep, you heard it here folks. Racing your nut sacs. Basically the idea being that olden civilizations used to hold nut sac measuring contests to see who was the biggest, baddest most tumorous man, and therefore leader in the tribe. Sounds hilarious, but it also reminded me of that one South Park episode about medical marijuana. The possibilities are endless.

Anywho, back to Hobocon. What is Hobocon you might ask? Why, it is the magical journey 3 masochists went through and decided to film. They decided that they would go into GenCon, armed only with their cameras and some random objects and try to survive it. No tickets, no badge, no money and no hotel room. This is pretty badass. The kids have it rough but it also shows us how awesome GenCon peeps are. From trading buttons for slices of pizza to sleeping under the service stairway of a penthouse apartment, these kids did it all for SCIENCE. At least I’d like to think that’s why they did it. It also had an interesting showing of the happenings of GenCon and really gave you a feel for the awesomeness of the people around it. I think you can get the DVD online. It was so awesome I’d probably use it as a way of answering the “What is GenCon” question all the non-gamers tend to ask me.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. After all of this stuff. We headed off for some sushi at nearest sushi place about a block down from us. It was delicious, but waaaay too expensive. Sushi Hana back home was probably still better and the prices are the organ selling kind. After that we go back to the room for a bit. One of my friends is wearing his contacts so he let’s me borrow/ I steal his glasses. I have eyes now! Victory!

At this point, I think I went off back to the dealer room (with eyes! It was like going through it again but with ice cream!) where I purchased my BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (you have to say it that way) hoodie. I can’t wait for it to get cold so I can wear it all the time. The other thing I got was…. Agricola! I’ve been wanting to play this game ever since I heard about it in the Three Moves Ahead podcast. It’s awesome. I tried playing some of it once I got back to my room and failed to get the single player score (even though I cheated by not doing the right single player stuff) It’s a fun game and I was actually able to understand it once I had the boards and pieces in front of me. Z-man games also gave me a huge blue tote bag and a free t-shirt. Who doesn’t love a free t-shirt?
At this point we head back to the hotel to drop the loot off. Peeps take naps; I try to learn how to play Agricola. Eventually we head out for food and drinks. We find a place called The Pub because you can always assume a great time at a place with that name and I eat some fried clams. It was a new and interesting dish. Would eat again. The night continued with great adventures until we finally got back and I went to sleep and snore.

End of Day 2.

My late write-up for GenCon.

What can I say? It was awesome. It was a wild and crazy ride and even though I feel like I could have done more, I still managed to have an amazing time. Here goes.

We start at my place. I just woke up from a crazy night. Eat some of last night’s delicioius leftovers and start packing. Something is wrong. Something is missing. What could it be?. My glasses, my eyes. Searched for a while until I realize that I’m late for our meet up. Said “frack it” and headed off. This will be a trip without the use of my eyes. Oh well.

Arrival at buddy’s location at around 10:15. He is still suffering, nay, enjoy, the repercussions of last night’s greatness. We go off on a trip and another friend decides to Ice an already broken man. Hilarity ensues and we finally set off for Indianapolis.

Car ride is relatively uneventful, I started reading Neuromancer again in hopes of finally finishing this time. We finally arrive at the hotel after noon. We were worried that they might not have had our room ready and that we would be stuck carrying our stuff around until like 5. Score one for luck because it was clean and we got a nice room over in some loungey awesome area. I had to then use my credit card for the awesome task of paying for all 3 nights of the hotel room. Thankfully, one of the guys payed me back right away so I had a good $350 in cash to use. This came in handy since most people in the dealer room only took cash. Let me tell you about my awesome hotel. It was basically about half a block away from the Convention Center and we got free breakfast and late afternoon munchies in the lounge area. They had some of the most amazing meatballs I’ve ever seen. Getting free coffee is always a plus.

We put our stuff inside and get ready for GenCon! We already had our badges delivered so we went in to “check-in” at the convention center. We got a nice badge holder to hang around our neck and a bag of free loot. Inside the loot was also a GenCon commemorative dice which let’s you get a discount on the full set in one of the dealer booths. Woot! That was to be our first stop after my buddy went to get tickets. In GenCon, nobody is really allowed accept cash for events unless they are in the dealer room. So they have these tickets that you hand in for events. Don’t ask me much else because I didn’t buy any. I was already broke from paying a thousand dollar hotel bill.

And so it begins. I head out to the dealer room without my eyes and proceed to walk all over the place. First stop was of course, the dice set. Can’t go to a con without getting dice. Walked around. Saw a bunch of stuff that I hadn’t even heard about before. There were even some people in the dealer room showing off some of the more awesome board games which I thought was kind of awesome. Mind you this is a huge room. It is amazing. My recent loss of dollars presses a heavy burden on my compulsive shopping heart. Ah well, walked around and bought some stuff including a flask from a steampunk clothing and accessory vendor. I would have bought more like a spyglass and some steampunk goggles but I wasn’t going to fork over $50+ for stuff I wasn’t really going to be using at all. At least the flask could hold some water and happy juice. The IT happened. I found the Paizo booth. This was Bad news bears. Thankfully, my newly imposed need for self-discipline kicked in and I only got the Harrow Deck. Don’t worry. I somehow managed to make it back every other day. Paizo was also handing out free buttons but when we got there they had run out. UNACCEPTABLE! My heart was crushed. Giant Purple d20 fixed me right up. I made a vow to come in early the next day for that day’s batch. I also got what is probably my new favorite bag ever. It’s a GenCon messenger bag with what might be favorite color, dark awesome green.

After browsing the dealer room for hours (something I did a lot) we met up to discuss dinner plans and then I headed back to the hotel to drop off my loot.At this point I was tasked with searching out the City of Indianapolis to find the nearest fun store and bring back a bottle of juice. Quick search on google maps shows me the nearest one is within walking distance and northeast of our current location. So I walk to grab my happy juice. I finally get back around 20-30 minutes later. My legs were about to die so I had to lie down for a while. Oh, let me tell you about my experiences and thoughts on Indianapolis. It sucks. Yup, I said it. The whole place sucks. I like GenCon, but the city is a sewer smelling wretched hive of villainy and scum.I think I saw a bum on every corner, the smell of dead rats and bubbling toxic waste didn’t help matters much either.

Anyway, after my feet and ankles stop hurting as much, we went out for dinner at a place called Ram. They had delicious beers and an excellent menu, all with geeky gamer names. Forget what I actually ordered but it was delicious. At some point I looked at my phone, which had terrible reception the whole time, and saw that Felicia Day had responded to a tweet. Happy Dance ensued. After that, I was pretty tired so I got back to the hotel and slept.

Day 1: Concluded!

Of the 40 comments I’ve had so far, only 6 have been approved and 34 comments were spam. How do these people find me? What makes them think they’ll reach a large audience on my blag? Why are they so relentless (I’ve had multiple duplicates saying the same thing)? The world will never know.

I recently wrote a Grails article for a newsletter at work. I was overcome with an inability to continue unless I wrote some sort of epic about how much I hate XML. I ended up writing something completely ridiculous but I did show it to the newsletter’s editor. He was of the opinion that I should post it on this here blog. I have no objections so here goes. I present you:

“The Ballad Nay, The Legend of the Holy Grails.”

Sure it looked nice and shiny on the outside, a finely tuned system with greased cogs fitting snuggly in place. Unbeknownst to us, inside its serene and clean exterior, the rot had set in turning what could have been the Elysian Fields into Tartarus. Hibernate was to keep our queries from straying into frivolities. Spring came to keep our dependencies from strangling us. The cost was too great; madness overcame us. As hard as we fought there was still no denying it. We were stuck in XML Hell.

We struggled: ordering brackets, evading the slashes, attempting to understand the undecipherable lexicon of these demonic configurations; it was all in vain. There was no hope, no escape, only despair. Eons would pass as we suffered trying to begin. We saw no end in sight; our new beginnings were unattainable. There was no way to escaping our new prison. We would forever wander this dejected land riddled with the dreaded XML.

Alas, He came. Sporting a magnificent fedora and leather jackets he approached us. A swift crack of his whip brought us to our salvation. “Behold, there is no need to go onto the Last Crusade for I bring you the holy Grails.” No longer were we bound to the chains of XML. We were free. No more long hours staring at the ugliness of XML; no more would we allow the madness to overtake us. In that moment, we knew what it was like to be William Wallace; to finally cry out “FREEDOM.”

Ease and mastery were at our fingertips. Our domain models were created to perfection and assigned to our classes correctly. We followed the great Model View Controller paradigm to the letter, keeping our code clean and organized. We saw the light of using the REST architecture for our web applications. With clear distinction between development, testing and production environment we were free to write clear unit tests for all aspects of our applications. The power we wielded was too strong, too flexible and too corrupting. Developers found that they had time to do other things, like spend time with their families or enjoy their lives. Such blasphemy, such sacrilege was unacceptable! A jealous conglomerate known only as “The Management” grew furious and outlawed the practice of this most holy of rites. And thus, the knowledge of Grails was banished; wiped from the minds of developers. Not a memory was left; not a trace to be found.

These events occurred a very long time ago, but fear not my friends for there is still hope! For we have begun to uncover the lost secrets of Grails. Hear me now, take this tale of hope, betrayal and sorrow and spread it for all to know! Grails shall rise again!

Last Thursday was my first game of soccer in over 8 years. My body was nice enough to remind me how unfit I was by punishing me throughout the whole time. I made more than a handful of mistakes but the most consequential were my first two mistakes. Mistake number one: Let myself be conned into playing soccer. Mistake Number two: Getting lost and arriving too late to stretch and warm up. These two played a pivotal role in the most pain I’ve had to experience in a few years. It’s all a blur now but I somehow tripped on myself and/or some other person while kicking the ball and ended up spraining my ankle. I’ve never had a sprained ankle that hurt as much as this one did. It was incredibly painful. I think my one saving throw that night was that I had enough adrenaline numbing the pain that I could still move without wanting to chop my leg off.

I wasn’t so lucky on the following morning. The pain was unbearable; it made it impossible to even put my work pants on. I called in sick and proceeded to hop everywhere I went in my room whenever I needed to move. It wasn’t the most pleasant experience but I managed. Luckily, my new Xbox 360 had just arrived the night before so I was able to sit on my couch playing random demos and watching Netflix streamed from the new console. I stayed bed/couch-ridden throughout the entire weekend. I ordered pizza multiple times as my only source of nourishment because there was no way I was going to be able to stand up long enough to cook. The ankle has healed well enough lately and I can now walk with only minor discomfort as long as I don’t walk up or down any stairs, my current weakness.

Netflix also let me watch the first Season of Californication which was MOST excellent.

On a sadder note, I had to cancel D&D due to gimpiness. I was really looking forward to starting the campaign.

I figure I should continue blogging on my awesome nerdiness. A few weeks ago I played D&D for the first time at a table in over 2 years. In a way it was an almost nostalgic experience. I relived all those Sunday afternoons with my roommates hanging out at the Lawnview lounge and generally wasting 8 or more hours, having fun and ordering pizza. It also gave me the bug back; now I want to do it all over again.

I’ve been playing D&D on a friend’s website online but it isn’t quite the same playing the game with a group of people around a table. Now I’m obsessed. I want to go back to the days when I was the Dungeon Master, weaving plots and characters so my players could enjoy some awe-inspiring experiences. I want to go back to creating interesting and tactical challenges for my players to overcome. I was always amazed at what they could come up with to solve their current problems.

Now that I have taken the plunge back into that world, I’ve decided to start doing it again. I started a campaign online based on a brand new setting I started working on a couple of weeks ago. I have also taken it upon myself to start a group to play in real life. I’ve managed to find 4 players so far: two players from the online campaign and two co-workers. A good number I’d say but I wouldn’t be against adding a 5th or even a 6th as long as I don’t have the insane groups of 8+ people I used to have to deal with again.

I’m ecstatic. I’ve even managed to get permission to use a friend’s dining room table for the game sessions! It should be better than going to the nearby comic book store since I prefer the privacy and the location is pretty central for all of us so distance shouldn’t be a big issue. I’ve been spending a lot of time going through creating and refining aspects of my campaign setting. Once I get a good idea of my players’ character’s backgrounds and class configuration I’ll be able to work more deeply into the actual campaign. It’s been a good way for me to stagger my reading as well. I’ve been reading the Sword of Truth Series a lot lately (more to come on that in another blog post) and it seems like I’m about to finish it too quickly if I don’t slow myself down.

I’m interested to see how the sessions play out. Both the online and the table game will be using the same campaign setting and start location. However, I plan for each session to take drastic changes from the other which should keep me entertained and my two players on both campaigns surprised and on their toes.

If they have their characters ready then I’ll be able to start this Sunday! I’ll have to start harassing them to finish up their characters so I can start planning out the campaign. I’m currently using a “new” System which is Pathfinder (also known as 3P, 3.6E and 3.75) for the game. The advantage being that it’s helped solve of the more annoying issues I had with 3.5 without me having to learn a brand new system again. The familiarity should be helpful for both me and any of my players which have played 3.5.

The anticipation is intoxicating.